Soul Eyes

Soul Eyes

She emerged on one

of the pages

from my

CitraSeal/National Geographic experiment.

She is my favorite

of all those pages,

actually.

Yesterday,

home from work with the snots,

I couched:

listening to this awesome new CD,

with my tea & blankie,

my pillow & Zoe,

& 

my pens & journal.

Once I'd

spilled my proverbial guts

on the page,

in 5 pen colors,

I decided to camoflouge.

Sometimes

[sometimes]

thoughts just need to stay private,

ya know?

presently,

I'm re-visiting the influence of

Gustav Klimt,

my favorite artist,

thanks to this book

&

letting his shapes

flow through me.

Peaceful,

[despite my roiling, broiling stomach

& relentless coughing & kerblooeying!!]

to snooze a little,

sip a little,

wake to move a few pens around once more.

This kind of page is a transition for me.

I'm slowly getting used to it.

I'm uncertain if I like it.

I still resist 

(in big parts of myself)

covering over my writing.

This book is 11 x 14,

so the whole page won't fit on

my scanner,

but you can still

get a sense

of the overall finished look.

* * * * * *

Materials:

metallic acrylics, 52 flavors of pens, fabric strip

* * * * * *

Because

I love to see

where visual journalers begin

with a page,

above is a scan of an upcoming background

in my Big Book,

spray painted background

and another CitraSeal/Nat'l Geo page

(my second favorite).

I'll scan this once I've worked the page

& show you

what it becomes.

Late for a Very Important Date

After

drooling over,

following,

considering,

observing,

&

yearning toward

the

pages of

all the brilliant spray paint artists

in Bloglandia for

the last 3+ years,

but remaining only an ardent admirer ...

Spray Paint Love

has

finally

taken

hold of me.

Spray Paint,

Stencils,

& Silhouettes/Masks.

I am in possession of:

10 cans

of assorted spray paints,

not including RED,

[a gap which I will fill this evening].

I have

a 12" x 12"

plastic storage box

filled with stencils

I've collected

or cut

over the last 4 years.

I have one manila

file folder

full of silhouettes/masks

I've been cutting

for the last year.

My patio roost table

is now sheathed in

a large leaf & lawn bag,

taped down.

It has received a promotion,

you see,

to

Spray Paint Central.

True Story.

I have a box of

legal-sized

manila folders,

bought on sale at Walmart,

awaiting their turn

On The Table.

Tonight,

I'm going to Ace Hardware

to meet with Gabe,

my spray paint enabler,

to talk about masks,

so as to avoid

Spray Paint Hangover Head

such as I experienced yesterday.

And to buy a can of

RED.

I'm also going to mosey

thru the aisles

on the hunt

for interesting objects,

shapes, filters,

meshes,

chain, string,

anything

I can conceivably use as a stencil. 

I've already

frisked my house

as thoroughly as possible,

&

I have the shop guys

here at work

on Seek-&-Find Patrol

amid their materials,

also!

Above: 

I love this one 

because

it looks like

old wallpaper,

torn & worn & stained & weathered,

such as I've seen

in abandoned

or

very old houses.

Toni's Spray Paint Campaign Has Begun!

My Mission

[which I've already chosen to accept]

is to build the backgrounds

for my next journal,

to ultimately be

coil-bound between

mat board covers

and

then toted about

in my

Big Ass Purse

for

daily journaling.

Spring Flower

My Love, Ciera

Flower Child

Age 8, 3rd Grade

They Can't Touch Her Heart

She is her own,

fully colorized,

uncooperative,

immune to the strings:

ALIVE INSIDE.

* * * * * *

[acrylics, copic markers, gel pens]

[assignment for on-line class]

Role Reversal

Imagination -

Feral Friend -

Chairs the Casting Call.

* * * * * *

Heh Heh -

because turnabout is fair play,

dontcha know!

* * * * * *

[acrylics, torn vintage photo, 60-second graphite drawing,

India inks, various markers, sandpaper]

Glass Cage

As

a

woman

it

seems

I am

mainly

expected

[expected, mind you]

to

confine

myself

to

an

objectified

state

of

perpetual

inconsequence.

* * * * * *

I DECLINE

* * * * * *

[acrylics, India Inks, pencil, handmade marbleized paper]

Illumined

Alone in moonlight,

illumined,

I gentle myself.

[acrylic paint, various markers, gel pens,

charcoal, white chalk,

colored India ink, gloss gel medium sealer]

Inspiration ... becomes a Journal Page

Amor Improvisado I

Artist Joe Ray

[used by permission]

I recognized this immediately:

the moment,

the energy,

the vibrancy.

I recognized this

 - Amor Improvisado -

because

it is a recurring dream

of

mine.

Except ...

... except

my dream expresses

the moment,

the energy,

the vibrancy,

from a woman's perspective.

Same immediacy.

Same urgency.

Same abandon.

Same surrender.

Same internal whispers

of recognition

amid

the passion.

Yet not the same at all,

is it?

New Wheels

My Love Ciera's Uncle,

my bro' The Bobfather,

sooprised her with a new bike.

But wait!

That doesn't look like Ciera!

Could it be?

Why - YES!!

IT'S MY LOVELY MOTHER!

Bad ass in shades, jeans & flip flops!

Ah yes,

here's the Wee Lassie --

on New Wheels

tall enough

for her long legs!

A-Wootin'

and

A-Tootin'

* * * * * *

I'll have my turn when I visit

this weekend!

I think I'll sport
my green wig
&
my new wellies
from Mom!

Self-Possessed

'Lovers don't finally meet somewhere.

They're in each other all along.'

~ Rumi

* * * * * *

and when the lover within is Self?

* * * * * *

[acrylics, charcoal, various markers, stencils,

1-minute figure drawings on manila paper]

Essence

Ahead of season

I am spring.

My essence blooms roots.

* * * * * *

[acrylic paint, charcoal, white chalk, gel medium]

Field Day

This in from my bro', Chris, yesterday: 

"Ciera's Field Day was fun and the weather was beautiful!"

They had 16 different events.

Her class lost their tug of war though -- DARN! 

I had told her I wasn't coming and

she looked sad this morning.

She really gave me a big smile

when she saw me out on the field!"

Rain ... Birth

' ... some of us here are real artists.'

'It's difficult to share the visceral and difficult life experiences;

what will the reaction be?'

'My pieces look so stupid compared to .... '

' ... fear ... to post my work.'

' ... loving the class but after seeing the other photos,

I think I'll just continue to lurk in the gallery.'

[comments/responses read in discussions held

at one of my on-line classes]

Emotions I have shared.

Emotions I still share.

Emotions,

I've come to see,

which have been

influencing

my blog, this blog,

Mermaid Tango.

But change - it's been a' comin'.

and 

here it is.

Blogging creates,

in me,

a sense of accountability,

like a promise made,

but going forward I am shifting that

commitment to myself.

I want to create!

I want to create

my own

art,

writing,

experiments,

ventures and adventures,

as my priority.

If I create something to post,

I feel more

viable,

productive,

self-actualizing,

self-propelling.

My blog has felt

increasingly

disassociated from me.

I am the Mermaid,

trying to process

the journey of

my tango,

within and without.

I still yearn

[ Y E A R N ]

to other artists,

and

I still want to engage, converse,

share, learn, collaborate.

But

if I'm not creating anything,

I'm distilling myself

to a mere audience for others.

God help me,

but

I'm terrified

of allowing myself

to become 

A Shadow Artist.

I want ...

[say it, Tonia]

I want to be SEEN,

starting with my own eyes.

A statement met with a

swoop of Takeover-Level fear.

Fear of being responsible

to my own creativity,

setting goals,

commiting to my ideas,

my practice of art and writing.

Fear

of

putting

my

work

out

there.

Fear that

turns my stomach to acid,

raises finger-pointing self-contempt,

animates self-doubt,

tunes up my

self-torturing

Critic Amen Choir.

But!

I

will

not

stop

creating.

Real projects,

with aim,

to articulate my

artist,

writer,

photographer,

mail-art bandit,

collage beastie,

mess-maker,

my

SELF.

I am worthy!

I am

THE REAL THING.

Toni Steps Up.

Toni says,

for all my inner

goblins and spooks to hear:

I AM AN ARTIST.

What I create,

whatever that is,

is what I create,

my best at this point in my journey.

I

am going to

practice

turning the

spotlight on myself.

Reorient

my priorities.

Become my own

Principal Player.

Lift my

head

heart

arms

chin

imagination

voice

soul

in a resounding

YES.

Yes!  Yes!  Yes!

featured art work my own,

pieces created

either for

an online class

or

mail art

Chilean Dreamer: Guest Artist Liz Larson

Chileandreamer Jewelry and Design: Creativity Inspirations
Text and Photos by Liz Larson

My name is Liz, and I design and create artisan wire-wrapped jewelry. I know it sounds a little like an addiction meeting, and it should!  Since I opened Chileandreamer Jewelry & Design (http://www.chileandreamer.etsy.com/) on Etsy over a year ago, it’s taken all my free time. It’s lucky I love what I do! However, I have to admit there are periods where I have creativity in abundance, and periods where I feel creatively stymied. I go for a lot of walks during these periods, since inspiration is found in the strangest places! I often find inspiration outside, looking at the structure of buildings, frost patterns, waves, or the way a vine curls.

A little about me: I am truly a crafter at heart, and have so much respect for people who craft with their hands! I love to sew, both by hand and with the horribly seductive convenience of my sewing machine. Music is another passion of mine; I am a vocalist and have played piano and cello since an early age. I have a fantastic husband who is wonderfully supportive of my jewelry work, and who makes me laugh everyday!

A lot of my inspiration comes from the stone I’m working with. I am always intrigued by unique new stones with new colors and textures and patterns - I’ll see a stone and my brain instantly starts designing! Sometimes there are parts of the stone I want to feature, such as stripes I can accentuate with wire lines. 

Most of the stones I work with inadvertently fall into one of two categories. There are stones that look best wrapped very simply to feature the stone, and there are also stones where I can let my creativity flow further and create intricate wire designs that are reminiscent of nature or emotion.

 

Sometimes the wrap design reflects my state of mind, or a state of mind I want to evoke in others. I am a great fan of jewelry that speaks secretly to you; wearing a necklace that puts you in a specific state of mind, or that means something just to you.

Often I’ll idly sketch a design that seems unfeasible, and then I’ll select the right stone and see how close I can get. Sometimes I’ll be halfway through creating a design, and I’ll see other places the design could go, so I end up with inspiration for a second piece. For example, I was creating the Lorelei necklace when I saw the design for the Intertwined necklace.

Often the clients I work with have also been instrumental in my creative process. I’ve been approached several times to design for wedding or bridesmaid jewelry, and it’s a fun balance between my artistic ideas and the clients’.  I happily do custom orders, as working with someone else helps me think outside the box!

Advice for new artists? Always be stretching your creative bounds. The more you try to work around problems and create things you’ve never done before, the more possibilities you’ll see.

Happy creating! Thanks to the wonderful Toni for an amazing blog, and for hosting my guest post!

~Liz
http://www.chileandreamer.etsy.com/

THANK YOU, LIZ!!