Thursday, July 26, 2012

Little = Big: Part 2

Struggling to say all this eloquently -- oh well, just going to go with the thoughts.

This isn't a rebuttal, this thinking, to any other point of view.

I am curious as to why the "out there" functionality of seemingly every blog now exists.

I suspect a few things:
1.  People crave work satisfaction not found in current jobs.
2.  People want meaning:  in themselves, in what they do.
3.  People want to make money, especially the way some of the 'power bloggers' seem to.
4.  People crave personal validation, and are still conditioned to think it's externally source - blog hits, stats, comments, recognition, kudos, all that applause by which they measure success and worth
5.  People want the fantasy of all that -- ideas of glamour and influence and power and wealth and independence
6.  People want to matter and believe that's an "out there" quantified value.
7.  In the last 4-5 years, all of this has taken over as The Trend.

Out there is a myth.

Out there is right here - ME, as I am, every second of my process.  The rest, without the internal core, can't happen, or anyway can't sustain itself. 

How many of the people pursuing a personal business based on someone's 'how to do it' booklet, trying to create a blog/website-centered business, are motivated by NOT feeling they're enough?  Not enough to start with, certainly not enough if they don't have a self-made business, aren't participating in The Trend?

Who has stripped the value out of an individual's choice to work the proverbial 9-5 because she wants no part of building a home-based, self-propelled business?  What I do at my job is as valuable (to MY value, belief, & priority structure) as anything anyone else does toward a business of her own.  Financially, I have to work, of course.  But I choose to work my '9 to 5' gig, not build a business.

====== herein lies a whole speech that needs to happen about how I don't WANT to 'manage' others - not their time, their process, their anxieties, their growth, their accountability, their fantasies, their performance ... a speech for another time, I think =====

It's a worthy counter-dialogue, this.  I wonder if there are any women out there who would really like to be let OFF the 'Out There Is The Way' hook?  Women who'd like some nourishment validating, or anyway bringing forth, the discussion about not pursuing all that, not resume-building?  Women who'd like to pop the rose-colored Trend Lenses out of their spectacles and restore their personal vision(s)? 

You don't "push through" the kind of deep-core recoil I feel reading someone's 'how to build a business' booklet.  I learned not to bully myself, not to name-call, not to persist, not to label it "fear & flaw".  I learned to stop and say, "Whoa!  Clearly this isn't for me, this isn't ME, period.  So what IS?!" 

& in no way am I slamming building a business, or any of the outlines teaching insight to doing so.  They're great if that's who you are:  WHO YOU REALLY ARE.  But my idea of business is taking care of my family, my intimate circle of people and activities and all that relates to those -- and creating a life which gives me time for that and for myself. 

Why isn't it okay to say I'm a Business of One. 

Or to say, as I actually do:  "Business?  Blecch, tuey, ack, eesh, pfffft, NOT.  I'm about The Personal, Man!!!" 

& the personal, for me, is always right now.  Anything else, for me, is just distraction, falsely-motivated, or just talk-speak (jargon) or getting tangled in Trend. 

My life is none of that.  I won't allow it.

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